So tomorrow, apparently, these two guys that're running for President or something are gonna yak at us about, like, policy 'n stuff? Groovy.
Maybe you're planning to watch, maybe you're not. Frankly, I could understand not watching -- I myself will be slightly occupied with Other Things while I watch in order to avoid an Unfortunate Incident With My Television (it's that smirk of his that sends my blood pressure into orbit). Or, if you want a fun party activity with friends, have them join you around the TV, order a pizza, crack open some beer, and do an MST3K of the whole thing. Some people also do a drinking game as a part of the festivities, but this must only be undertaken by serious alcoholics, as the rules include downing a shot every time Bush says "freedom", "terra-ist", and "nine-eleven". Most people pass out from alcohol poisoning within the first 15 minutes.
However, if you just can't stomach watching (or even if you can), I highly, highly recommend Pandagon's coverage. Ezra and Jesse liveblog the whole thing (as does basically the entire blogosphere) to hilarious result. A few of their greatest hits:
Note to the White House: using epidemic voter fraud as a measure of your success in promoting democracy is a little bit like promoting second degree burns as a measure of your success in producing oven mitts.
I have a six-pack of Killian's Irish Red, and I'm playing a little drinking game. It's called "Drinking". The goal is to take a sip every 15 seconds or so.
If the purpose of this press conference was to open a dialogue between Bush and the nation, or even the world, I can tote out my dusty, half-functioning Teddy Ruxpin and have the same sort of "dialogue".
See what I mean? Laughter guaranteed, and a sure antidote to that heartburn you'll be feeling when Georgie trots out the nonsensical "freedom is on the march" bromide for the ten billionth time.