Everything you need to know about Iraq*

I wish we had more time to celebrate the Democratic victory, but unfortunately, the bomb we've made of Iraq continues to tick...

tick...

tick...

tick...

*complete with pictures, so even Junior can understand.

It's a bird, it's a plane, it's...Rahm!

In between building full-scale suspension bridges out of popsicle sticks and single-handedly finding the cures for cancer, Parkinson's, and that nasty foot fungus that makes your toenails yellow and thick, Rahm Emmanuel won everything.

I guess the rest of us can get back to our everyday lives, now that Rahm's on the case.

Winning: it tastes like VICTORY!

I have dreamed about this day for so long, I'd gotten used to it being a dream. I'm as shocked as I am elated. I hoped against all hope that we'd win. I even hoped against all hope that we'd win big. I'm the biggest foolish optimist you will ever meet -- I'm the one who still thinks a team can pull it all out in the last three seconds of the game, the one who thinks an election can still be won long after it's been called, and yes, I'm the one who honestly believed -- and believed very, very hard -- that Kerry was going to pull it out even after the news turned bad two years ago.

But part of being a foolish optimist is that you get disappointed in a big way. Often. So you learn to hedge your bets in your internal dialogue, to try to dial down your expectations, to make deals with yourself to mitigate disaster, to shield yourself from the blow. The end result of all of that, of course, is that when you actually do win big...well, it's almost as overwhelming as when you lose big.

I'll take this any day.

We won big, you guys. Several races still not called at this point -- including, Gary Trauner's race in WY! -- but even so, consider this:

• National Sweep. Democrats take the national majority in the House, Senate, Governors, and State Legislatures. The only thing Republicans have left--Bush--still sports a sub-40% approval rating.
  
  
• We won bigger than they ever did. Democrats look set to take the House, and with a larger majority than Republicans ever had during their 1994-2006 "revolution." We also won more Senate campaigns in a single cycle, 23-24, than either party has won since at least 1980.
  
  
• Republicans shut out: No House, Senate, or Governor pickups for Republicans. That breaks every record for futility. No one can ever do worse than they did this year.

That's right, kids. Progessivism is ascendant and the voters kicked the Rethugs to the curb. Don't let the door hit you in the ass, you criminal hypocritical bastards.

And already, we're seeing the first effects with the resignation of Rumsfeld. I keep thinking of that smug, smarmy little smirk of the Chimp in Chief two years ago, when he informed us he had a mandate and he intended to use it. Translation: fuck you, half of America. So I take great delight in saying, "Right back atchya, big guy."

Lots of work ahead of us. We're going to have some big battles ahead, and it's not going to be pretty. There'll be some frustrations, some losses, some moments of despair. But I think we've finally stopped our unchecked hurtling into the dark abyss. Time to start digging our way out.

As for the Democrats (Rahm Emmanuel) tripping over themselves (Rahm Emmanuel) to claim credit (Rahm Emmanuel) for these stunning victories (Rahm Emmanuel), many of which they (Rahm Emmanuel) actively tried to subvert (Rahm Emmanuel), I have this to say:

This is a party of the people, and this victory belongs to us. Not you. We have very long memories. We took down the Republican Party at the height of their power. We can take you down, too. Do not fuck with us.

Ice skate manufacturers' stock is about to skyrocket*

As much as I love my adopted state of Oregon, I still hold a warm place in my heart for my home state of Wyoming. I'm proud to be from there, and I still follow Wyoming events with interest.

So you can imagine the glee that's filled me as I've followed the Cubin/Trauner race. We've been donating like mad for months, now, and a disproportionate amount of our donations have gone Tester, Grant, and more specifically, to Trauner. Not just because I would REJOICE to see a Democrat from Wyoming in the House, but because everything I read about Gary Trauner makes me like him more and more. I think he'd be a great representative for the people of Wyoming. But don't take my word for it. Listen to what someone who's actually walked at his side has to say:

Trauner Poised for an Upset

I mean seriously, what's not to love about a candidate who says this when confronted with the fact that he's a New York transplant?

"I can't help where I was born, but I got here as quick as I could."

Montana, Idaho, and Wyoming are set to cement my fervent belief that the future of the Democratic Party lies in the West. Whether Trauner wins or loses -- and he has a very real chance to win it -- he will have demonstrated that Wyoming and the other so-called red states in the West share many ideals of the Democratic Party and that with some effort and some really terrific candidates, there's no reason they couldn't be as blue in the future as they've been red in the past.

*A Republican friend of mine once opined that it would be a cold day in hell before Wyoming elected a Democrat to Congress. I hear it's supposed to be pretty cold this coming Tuesday.