10.28.2005

Happy Fitzmas!

I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, the Vice-President's right hand man -- or, as several pundits have said repeatedly today, "Cheney's Cheney" (vomit) -- has been charged by Patrick Fitzgerald for all kinds of crazy hijinks. Five counts -- 1 count of Obstruction of Justice, 2 counts of Perjury, 2 counts of Making False Statements. Oh, that Scooter, what a rascal, what a scamp. What does the "I" in "I. Lewis Libby" stand for? "Indicted, bee-yotch!"

Ha ha I kill me.

But seriously folks. First time since the Grant Administration that a sitting White House official has been indicted. I'll save you the Wikipedia lookup...that's 130 years. In other words, first time in well over a century that a serving member of the White House has been busted for wrongdoing while in office, and that includes the Nixon Administration, people. Couldn't happen to a more deserving administration.

Wonder if he'll plead out or risk a trial. Neither option probably seems particularly appetizing, considering he'll have to hand someone juicier over in exchange for a plea -- this being a felony, after all, and the sentencing guidelines for this particular crime being especially high bars to clear -- and any trial will require calling Rove, Bolton, Hadley, and yes, Cheney, to testify under oath and causing a lot of embarrassing questions this Administration doesn't want asked to be asked. Including the Big Kahona, the Brass Ring, the Ultimate Prize: the casus belli for the Iraq War. I've already heard the questions being asked by the MSM in the last couple of days, which just goes to show that even lazy journalists can put two and two together eventually.

As for Rove...well. Like everyone, I had hoped to his name one the paper from Fitzgerald today, too, but I've decided Fitzmas is more like Hanukkah than Christmas...as Adam Sandler once sang, "instead of one day of presents, we get eight cra-azy nights!" It appears this investigation will be the gift that keeps on giving, as Rove remains under investigation. That has all kinds of delectable possibilities. (Including that he's possibly already reached a plea agreement late last night and it just hasn't been announced yet. On the delectability scale, this is lower down the list, but it does raise possibilities of its own.)

Oh, we've been good girls and boys and our stockings are chock full this year. Jeebus bless us, every one.

No comments: