Debate Watching

So tomorrow, apparently, these two guys that're running for President or something are gonna yak at us about, like, policy 'n stuff? Groovy.

Maybe you're planning to watch, maybe you're not. Frankly, I could understand not watching -- I myself will be slightly occupied with Other Things while I watch in order to avoid an Unfortunate Incident With My Television (it's that smirk of his that sends my blood pressure into orbit). Or, if you want a fun party activity with friends, have them join you around the TV, order a pizza, crack open some beer, and do an MST3K of the whole thing. Some people also do a drinking game as a part of the festivities, but this must only be undertaken by serious alcoholics, as the rules include downing a shot every time Bush says "freedom", "terra-ist", and "nine-eleven". Most people pass out from alcohol poisoning within the first 15 minutes.

However, if you just can't stomach watching (or even if you can), I highly, highly recommend Pandagon's coverage. Ezra and Jesse liveblog the whole thing (as does basically the entire blogosphere) to hilarious result. A few of their greatest hits:

Note to the White House: using epidemic voter fraud as a measure of your success in promoting democracy is a little bit like promoting second degree burns as a measure of your success in producing oven mitts.

from Bush's convention speech

I have a six-pack of Killian's Irish Red, and I'm playing a little drinking game. It's called "Drinking". The goal is to take a sip every 15 seconds or so.

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If the purpose of this press conference was to open a dialogue between Bush and the nation, or even the world, I can tote out my dusty, half-functioning Teddy Ruxpin and have the same sort of "dialogue".

from the infamous
4/13/04 press conference

See what I mean? Laughter guaranteed, and a sure antidote to that heartburn you'll be feeling when Georgie trots out the nonsensical "freedom is on the march" bromide for the ten billionth time.